My boyfriend is in hospital in a different town WHY I CAN’T EVEN GO SEE HIM
Are you okay?
no you guys dont understand RAPUNZEL IS GERMAN FOR A CERTAIN TYPE OF LETTUCE
I WOULD BE SAD IF PEOPLE DIDN’T KNOW THAT IT WAS A TYPE OF LETTUCE BECAUSE THE STORY OF RAPUNZEL SHE IS LITERALLY NAMED AFTER LETTUCE.
no her name means never give up
NONONONOOOO!!!!!!!! IN THE ORIGINAL STORY RAPUNZEL’S MOM GETS CRAVINGS!!! WHEN SHE LOOKS OUT THE WINDOW, SHE SEES SOME RAPUNZEL, AND IS LIKE “iF I DONT HAVE SO OF THAT SHIT RIGHT NOW, I WILL CHOKE SOMEONE!” WELL, OF COURSE THE FUCKING GARDEN BELONGS TO A WITCH, BECAUSE NOTHING GOOD EVER HAPPENS AT THE BEGINNING OF A FAIRYTALE! sO, HER HUBBY SNEAKS OVER, AND GETS HER SOME.THEN, HE GETS CAUGHT, AND IN PUNISHMENT, HE HAS TO GIVE UP HIS BABY WHEN SHE’S BORN. sO THE WITCH LOCKS HER IN A TOWER, AND NAMES HER RAPUNZEL AFTER THE FUCKING LETTUCE. I DON’T KNOW WHERE YOU GET THE IDEA THAT HER NAME MEANS NEVER GIVE UP, BUT IT’S WRONG . FUCKITY BYE!
IT MEANS NE\/ER GI\/E UP.
Well her mother never did give up on that fucking lettuce did she
I love this
"you come here often?"
"What is it? Dragons?"
"Er, can I get your number?"
"My cousin’s out fighting dragons and what do I get? Guard duty."
"The hell’s wrong with you?"
"I used to be an adventurer like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee."
"Why you gotta be like that?"
"Let me guess- someone took your sweetroll."
"Hey sexy can i get yo number"
"Remember my super cool Rattata? My Rattata is different from regular Rattata. It’s like my Rattata is in the top percentage of Rattatas."
Alternate idea: When a guy hits on you, challenge him to a pokemon battle
"Can it wait for a bit? I’m in the middle of some calibrations."
"Hey girl, you’ve got some nice-"
"Enemy RIFLEMAN, TWO HUNDRED meters, SOUTHEAST”
"Uh, are you alrig-"
“TWO, engage that RIFLEMAN, TWO HUNDRED meters, SOUTHEAST”
You know, the day that girls start challenging guys to a pokemon battle in order for them to ask you out is going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Fire from a burning building being sucked into a tornado.
get out of there fireman what are you doing
there’s a tornado
I can’t stop laughing at this fireman
he’s just standing there going
“well darn, look at that.
What happens when you rotate Copper Sulfate while it is on fire!
I think Maleficent is about to appear.
for a second i thought you meant that maleficient was about to appear sideways and i was confused. then i got it.
Just some tips I’ve collected from the serial killers of tumblr
just reblogging with my original tags because people liked them:
#murder tips #thats an odd tag #just posting a series of murder tips #nothing big #people reblog this #this is gold #COME ON REBLOG #what can i tag this with so more people will see it #murder #killing #blood #i guess #um #stabby stab #shooty shoot #CATCH A MARLIN #okay thats all i got
My mother actually told me you can dig a hole in the ground and put the body in with chopped up limes it will dissolve every thing but the teeth.
I can just imagine:
"Hey mom, do you know any good murder tips?"
"Hmm, well I know a pretty good one about limes"
I just told my dad that I was reading ways to get away with murder and he says
"Good, your mum is being a bitch lately"
Please dont let my dad on tumblr oh my god
why would you even drop acid? people are gonna slip on it and hurt themselves!
only drop the acid if you can neutralize it by dropping the base
I finally understand dubstep